Short and Simple Tips for When You Need Help

Are you a do it myself kind of person Does it stress you out and make you cranky Here's help. How to ask for help when you need it...

Many of my worst parenting moments happened when I was preparing for guests.

I’d cook and clean and get CRANKY! The self-imposed pressure of wanting everything to be perfect made me impatient and irritable. My to do list seemed undoable and my family always paid the price for unrealistic goals.

I talk with friends whose families are over-scheduled and stressed out. Children and adults are tired and anxious about reaching deadlines and accomplishing goals. Parents and kids have been told they can be anything and do it all.

And while it’s a good thing to pursue big dreams… it’s important to remember there will be times when you’ll need help to get over a hurdle or reach a destination.

I wasn’t very good at asking for help until I was impatient and unpleasant. So I’m here today to give you five tips for getting help when you need it.

Short and Simple Tips for When You Need Help

Are you a do it myself kind of person Does it stress you out and make you cranky Here's help. How to ask for help when you need it..

Be Aware – Ask for help before you are frustrated. Whether the help you need is advice, a task, or just someone to listen… get help before you’re in panic mode.

God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us. A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other. 1 Corinthians 12:6–7

Be Nice – Don’t whine, grumble, complain, or anything that might make someone want to run the other direction. Use your manners when asking for help. Even when you’re stressed take a deep breath, smile, and try some charm.

Let there be kindness in your face, in your eyes, in your smile, in the warmth of your greeting … Don’t only give your care, but give your heart as well. ~ Mother Teresa

Be Specific – Explain your need, then allow for individual differences. Don’t micro-manage. The person helping might not do things the way you would, but look at it this way… if they’re doing it, you don’t have to!

“Make a list of what you need help with: particular errands, the laundry, some cooking, walking the dog, changing a light bulb, maybe even a shoulder to cry on.” ~Toni Bernhard for Psychology Today

Be Patient – Allow a reasonable time frame for the job to be accomplished. – Set a time when you would like to see the job finished. Don’t mention it again. Don’t nag.

“Quite honestly, most people are quick to “write someone off.” But our God is a God of the second chance. Learn from One who is patient with you, and you’ll learn to be patient with others.” ~Woodrow Kroll

Be Thankful – If you want willing help say thank-you, give a small gift, or do something helpful in return at another time. It’s amazing how gratitude will inspire someone to look forward to helping again in the future.

“We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.” ~Albert Schweitzer

“Feeling grateful or appreciative of someone or something in your life actually attracts more of the things that you appreciate and value into your life.” ~Christiane Northrup

Now, if I could only remember to follow this list myself.

Getting help is better than feeling defeated, and it is easier to follow the last four if I faithfully follow the first one.

So here’s to remembering to ask for help before we get frustrated. And to remembering to be appreciative of every helpful gift given.

How good are you at asking for help?

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  1. marthajaneorlando says:

    I’m much better at asking for help now than I was when I was younger. I guess with age comes the realization that we can’t possible juggle every ball successfully.
    Blessings, Deb!

  2. Mary Flaherty says:

    For me, being specific is the hard part. When I’m stressed, I tend to huff and moan and bang pots and grumble and mumble–as if the Hubster ought to be able to pick up on those cues and just jump in. But men just don’t get it like women do. A woman would already be there jumping in before the muttering session. Being specific is hard for me, when asked, “What do you need me to do?” Especially when the person doesn’t do it MY way! Good points, Deb.

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